Monsters

Loch Ness Monster is real, says policeman

THE Loch Ness Monster is real - and this time it's a policeman making the claim, so it must be true.

Yeti footprints found by Himalayan search team

A team of Japanese adventurers say they have discovered footprints they believe were made by the legendary yeti said to roam the Himalayan regions of Nepal and Tibet.

Mutant fish preying on humans after munching tossed corpses

This is more like it - scientists fear that a huge type of catfish, called a goonch, may have developed a taste for flesh in an Indian river where bodies are dumped. You won't read it in the broadsheets, folks. Let that be a warning.